Self-Compassion and the Emotional Roots of Procrastination

Self-Compassion and the Emotional Roots of Procrastination

It can be far too easy to lose ourselves in productivity.

“I need to do more!”

Or our body finally collapses to say,

“No more!”

Somewhere along the way, we might find ourselves with self-accusations of laziness. Maybe if we were harder on ourselves, we’d finally get moving?

Dr. Fuschia Sirois, a professor of social and health psychology at Durham University, suggests that self-compassion may be a better approach. In our recent Rhythms of Focus podcast discussion, Dr. Sirois and I explored the intricate relationship between emotion, self-compassion, and procrastination.

Procrastination is about avoiding an emotion. Something about the task, the intention, reeks. When we call ourselves “lazy”, we “get to” avoid that experience at the cost of self-esteem. While it is hardly a good purchase, the unconscious voices speaking through emotion can throw us off better judgement.

Dr. Sirois makes a strong case for our social normal and their relationship to our internalized expectations of what constitutes being a “good” or “productive” member of society as being a factor.

A Call for Self-Compassion

One of the highlights of Dr. Sirois’s research is her emphasis on self-compassion. Self-compassion isn’t merely about being kind to ourselves when things go wrong but involves truly accepting our humanity—understanding that mistakes and failures are a part of life. In the podcast, she discussed the concept of self-compassion being activated in moments of struggle, where facing our shortcomings allows this powerful sentiment to move us forward.

Cultural Influences on Self-Compassion

The conversation also touched upon how cultural backgrounds can influence our levels of self-compassion. Citing research comparing various countries, Dr. Sirois noted how cultural norms around productivity and self-worth can shape our internal dialogues and responses. In cultures with strong productivity norms, people are often less self-compassionate.

But what are we even discussing when it comes to “productivity,” a word that can rapidly become meaningless. Here, we consider it as the demand of the concrete – the thing that must be delivered, in this way, by this date, with these steps, or in this form. Contrast this with the creative – in which we do not know what we are making except for its discovery in the act of making it.

How do we create the conditions that nourish creativity in this way? Could we improve our ability to engage work, but do so with resiliency and even a better sense of individual and collective meaning in the meantime?

  • Kourosh

PS Check out the latest Rhythms of Focus episode here.

Join the Weekly Wind Down Newsletter

Get a weekly letter about getting to play and meaningful work. Start getting where you want to be with calm focus. You’ll receive free samples of:

  • Creating Flow with OmniFocus
  • Taking Smart Notes with DEVONthink
  • Workflow Mastery
  • PDF on beating deadlines with ease using the Touching the Keys Technique

Recent Posts

Self-Compassion and the Emotional Roots of Procrastination

Self-Compassion and the Emotional Roots of Procrastination

In this episode, we delve into the roots of procrastination with Dr. Fuschia Sirois, a professor of social and health psychology at Durham University, who has over 25 years of research experience in procrastination and its relationship to emotions. The discussion covers how self-compassion can play a critical role in managing procrastination, the impact of societal norms on our productivity, and the importance of addressing emotional responses to improve motivation and reduce procrastination. Dr. Sirois introduces her TEMPO toolkit, designed to help individuals manage procrastination by addressing the emotional causes behind it, providing practical strategies and exercises for better emotional regulation. This episode offers valuable insights for anyone looking to understand and overcome procrastination through a compassionate and emotionally intelligent approach.

read more
A Delight in Craft

A Delight in Craft

The value of craftsmanship and meaningful work through personal anecdotes, football , and more.

read more
Force and the Rebel Within

Force and the Rebel Within

"I do my best when my back is against the wall!" How often have you found yourself here? You need to act, but can’t make yourself start—so you wait for the pressure to build. Force becomes the only tool in your kit. Force: The Usual Suspects Force shows up in many...

read more
Injured Agency: Why “Just Do It” Doesn’t Work

Injured Agency: Why “Just Do It” Doesn’t Work

When your mind wanders and the world asks, “Why can’t you just…?”—it’s easy to doubt yourself and lose trust in your ability to choose. In this installment of our agency series, we explore how repeated stumbles can injure our sense of agency, why “demand avoidance” is really a drive for autonomy, and how a small pause can help you begin to heal and reclaim your power to decide.

read more
Skip to content