Dear Reader,

I’m cranky.

– Kourosh

_________________________

How big? How small?

When it comes to goals, we often hear something along the lines of:

“Dream big! Now dream bigger! You are only limited by your imagination!”

Does anyone else find this to be similar to “Think of a number. Now think of a bigger number”? I guess we’re supposed to keep doing this until we’re all wearing Infinity Gauntlets or something.

Then we are supposed to write them down, perhaps using the obnoxiously titled “SMART” mnemonic to make them Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound.

Perhaps a boon for the ever de-humanizing forces of parasitic corporations[^1], I have some concerns about these so-called “smart” goals:

• Premature specificity can lead to a rigidity that can shatter the goal, the individual, as well as injure nearby innocent bystanders. (See also every story villain.)
• Not everything that can be measured matters. In fact, I’d argue that most that matters cannot be measured.
• How do I know what’s achievable until I’m there?
• How do I know what’s relevant until I explore?
• And for those of us with wandering minds, Lord help us with the clearly implied use of clock time rather than that of self time. (See also Clock time vs Self time.)

What goes horribly missed is the over-privileging of the written word, and the under-privileging of the wordless experience born in the seemingly menial but utterly vital, tiny world of a single visit.

Privilege the Wordless

Experience is a largely wordless place.

Much cannot be translated into words. As much as I enjoy playing with them, they are hardly more than emissaries, often beaten and beleaguered when sent on meaningless missions.

We discover what we are creating in the act of creating it.

We learn what we can learn in the act of learning it.

Any creative vision will be, by definition, blurry in one sense or another.

Envisioning that blurriness, sensing a direction, we wordlessly feel the tensions and decide from there how to shape and shift the moment’s sails.

Privilege the Tiny

When we focus on the tiny, we often unlock the large.

Catching a tiny turn of phrase in a client’s concerns, I ask,

“Wait, what do you mean by that?”

From here, new worlds may open. What was once stated as a goal is now revealed as only an attempt to further suppress an important part of themselves. I’d rather not collude in their collapse.

Working on the second movement of Beethoven’s Sonata 14, I stumble here and there, a bit at the beginning, a bit at the end, and a bunch in the middle.

Diving into a single measure, slowing it down, feeling for the basic nature of the single notes involved, I gently rework a small knot in the fabric.

Why here? Why now? I don’t know.

But well beyond the parts practiced, the whole piece begins to flow.

Of course…

Of course there is utility to thinking of large matters.
Of course we can revisit where we thought we were going to make adjustments.
Of course it is useful to think of small steps on the way there.

I’m not saying don’t have goals.

But know that premature goals are forced, often formed in a procrustean bed of words, twisted into submission. Returns and revisions take time, a time easily burdened upon our future selves.

At least from this vantage, the world beyond goals appears far more vast and rich than they’d have us believe.

– Kourosh

PS What do I see myself doing in 5 years? Probably eating a sandwich or something.

PPS I’m still cranky.

PPPS Here’s a performance of the piano piece mentioned!

[^1]: There are corporations more symbiotic with humanity, too. I’m not referring to them. I like them. I still want my sandwich.