Have you ever had something scheduled later in the day and felt that the day was shot?

In this particular ADHDino (non-affiliate link) comic, we see our hero defeated by “a thing at 5”.

They could seemingly engage any number of things before 5, but somehow cannot with this sudden mark on the clock.

What gives?

There are likely several fears in action.

Fear #1: The Groove

“What if I get in a groove?”

Seemingly, this would be a wonderful thing. We get into the work, diving in and perhaps even enjoying a sense of developing meaning somewhere within and through our lives.

But the fear of not being able to stop can easily throw us off. We might worry that we would lose sight of “the thing at 5.” Having lost track of time in the past, we might not trust ourselves. Alerts have possibly been blown off, people ignored, and the like.

So, to compensate, we might decide to keep our eye on the clock, hoping we don’t look away, dooming ourselves. Such vigilance is surely exhausting, consuming any concentration we could otherwise spend elsewhere.

Fear #2: The Unfinished Symphony

“What if I cannot get back in the groove?”

But let’s say we are able to stop. But what if we have a history of leaving projects incomplete? Will this become another thing on the shameful pile of incomplete things?

When working, we often do not know how something might appear in the end, how we might get there, and often both. As a result, we cannot guess the time it would take.

Unfortunately, with the lack of trust in ourselves that we could end something on time or pick it back up if left incomplete, we are left with the impossible goal of trying to figure out if the thing can be done in the time we have available.

As soon as there’s “a thing at 5”, our time has been limited and our work is shot.

Fear #3: The Endless Quest

“What if I cannot reach the end regardless?”

There is yet another fear of an ending that extends beyond the comic. What if there is no end, or at least one we cannot reach?:

• We are not intelligent enough to understand something
• The depth of the field is too vast for us to ever comprehend
• We are too old to start now
• We are too young to start now
• We’d never get “good enough”
• … among other possibilities

Similar to our lack of confidence to estimate a time, here we lack a confidence in our own abilities.

We may well fail. (See my recent newsletter on hope.)

What we miss is that there will always be questions left unanswered, whether in the moment or by the time we die.

Practicing Endings

Endings are not simple. We can consider how we organize ourselves, alert ourselves, and more fundamentally manage the momentum of our waves of focus, both within and between the sessions.

Marking with questions, considering our invitations to our future selves and more can take work, but it is a work that can bring great benefit. Much like any exercise, it is not about completion. It is growth.

All this is to say that we can improve our beginnings by practicing our endings.

– Kourosh

PS. The beginnings and endings of every wave of focus can be practiced and strengthened. The Waves of Focus is a unique and life-changing course to helping people gain the confidence to engage in their own rhythms, through an understanding of these waves. While it is currently not accepting new members, sign up to the newsletter to note an interest when it opens again.