“I do not have the interest. Therefore I cannot do it.”
The above statement can be… troublesome. This time it comes in the form of a metaphor: that ADHD is “the erectile dysfunction of the mind.”
While there is some truth to the post, I do worry how it might lead to a slippery slope of victimhood and helplessness if we’re not careful.
When we place the blame solely on “chemistry”, something beyond our “willpower,” we hit troubles, not just from the statement, but as both words can carry tremendous baggage.
On Chemistry
The example of erectile dysfunction itself, highlights some of the problems. While a person can have troubles performing because of illness, age, or more, they might also struggle because of emotional troubles within the relationship.
Certainly, make medical visits to assess difficulties there. But there might also be benefit in acknowledging the frustration and potential meaning of the dysfunction. Doing so might lead to examining those relationship troubles, and then making own decisions about what to do about them, whether that is a change of communication style, lifestyle, or the relationship itself.
In one sense, everything can be reduced to chemistry. For example carbon, oxygen, and hydrogen make up a tremendous part of our universe, within and beyond ourselves.
But chemistry is an epiphenomena of physics. And, biology is an epiphenomenon of chemistry. Why stop here? Isn’t the mind an epiphenomena of brain? Why discount the validity of meaning, story, and by extension our very sense of existence?
In this way, the claim that chemistry is the only means of understanding risks eroding our sense of free will and that we might be able to do something about our condition.
On Willpower vs Agency
“Willpower” is a problematic word—often suggesting force, a binary state, and ignores the multiple emotional fields at play. Even when we say, “I don’t want to do the dishes,” there’s a part of us that does. Otherwise the conversation wouldn’t even exist to begin with.
I much prefer the concept of agency: the ability to decide and engage non-reactively. When our agency is injured—when we lose, forget, or can’t engage—we lose trust in ourselves.
Healing agency means learning to decide and engage without force, honoring our emotions, not just the loudest ones. Agency becomes *a skill we can practice*, rather than a binary question of “do we have willpower or not?”
Practice, in turn, isn’t about force or pain. It’s about care—clearing and supporting paths for what’s meaningful.
When we show up to something to allow that self that arrives to make their own decisions about whether to do something or not, we are practicing a Visit.
When we do so daily, we build momentum, in honoring our desires, respecting our present and future selves, as well as whatever direction we head. We guide our the waves of emotion and focus within ourselves, using our own rhythms. We practice agency.
– Kourosh
PS I’m putting together a longer version of this piece as Episode 15 of Rhythms of Focus. Subscribe to the podcast to get it when it comes out.
