A Mistake Many Make when facing the dreaded “I don’t wanna…” feelings
It can be all too easy to succumb to the “I don’t wanna…” feelings
Either pushing through or ignoring can create problems
How about another way?
Some struggle with the sense that they cannot act unless the interest to do it is already there.
They cannot do things they don’t want, despite their importance. Feelings of “I don’t wanna…” often win, taking them hostage.
Scientific terminology can, paradoxically, strengthen this sentiment.
Terms like “Dysfunctional executive function skills”, “emotional dysregulation”, “dopamine” and “prefrontal cortex” can leave us feeling lost. While we can study the terms, they all remain distant from lived experience, perhaps accessible only by some hoped for scientist’s tools.
With such phrases echoing throughout social media, it can be easy to feel crushed under the weight of seeming inability.
Trained as a psychiatrist, but more so a psychoanalyst, I tend to have a different perspective:
**Our emotions have meaning.**
Emotions are not just things to poke and prod with sterilized words. They are not just things in our way. They are not things we only have too much or too little of. They are not soft and squishy.
They are the winds and waters by which we sail our conscious lives.
And quite vitally, we can feel them for ourselves.
“I don’t wanna…”. often carries many feelings behind it.
Exhaustion and frustration might be a couple. Beyond those however, there are often many stories of depth and detail, moments more meaningful than they at first appear.
Whether taking out the garbage or making a major decision as a company leader, emotions are the sources by which we engage.
Rather than wait for an ephemeral “Now, I feel like it…”, we can at least show up to the event. We can bring ourselves to the garbage, we can put options of a heavy decision in front of us, or we can bring the work or play within arms reach and then **simply be**.
It is **in that being** with the stuff that the winds and waters begin to stir, in all their natural nuance.
From there, we can decide.
– Kourosh
PS. All videos of the *Waves of Focus Basics* course are now uploaded. I’m now building out the membership components, along with exercises and the like. Things are coming along, and I’m hoping we can set sail soon. If you’re interested in following progress, check out my periodic instagram updates.
Productivity is many things. For some, it is about doing a lot in a little time.
But, truly, productivity is so much more. It is about:
- Setting yourself up for success.
- Being focused where you want to be.
- Doing things that you find meaningful.
- Being creative, sometimes even in harsh environments.
- Forging your own paths.
- Finding your voice and delivering it well.
- Knowing and actively deciding on your obligations.
- Knowing where and how to say “no”.
- Avoiding procrastination.
Too often, many of us fall into just going along with and fighting whatever the world throws at us. “Go with the flow!”, we say. Meanwhile, we might think, “I’d like to do that one thing. Maybe one day I will.” The days go by. The goal never arrives, and then we wonder why or blame circumstance.
But when we learn to take charge of our lives and the world
around us, we start living life with intention.
Of course, striking out may seem scary. It takes courage to live life with purpose and on purpose. Roadblocks and worries, fears and concerns show up everywhere.
This is my passion. I want to help you to find that sense of your own unique play to meet the world so that you can:
- Create a life that is yours.
- Find and follow an inner guide in a way that works for you and those you care for.
- Decide on your obligations and meet them while building the world you want.
The Wisdom of Wilbur Weathervane
"Courage stands at the beginning of a task and luck at the end." - Wilbur Weathervane, The Book of Unwritten Tales 2 I'm certain that there must another source of attribution to this quote. But I totally get a kick out of it coming from a video game character like...
The Wisdom of Wilbur Weathervane
"Courage stands at the beginning of a task and luck at the end." - Wilbur Weathervane, The Book of Unwritten Tales 2 I'm certain that there must another source of attribution to this quote. But I totally get a kick out of it coming from a video game character like...
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