Forcing ourselves to get started, through deadlines, shame, or asking others to push us can leave us feeling exhausted.
But when we use a Visit-Based approach, rather than one based in force, we support ourselves. Many of my students have described a sense of relief and amazement at how they get more done and still have energy at the end of the day using it.
What is a Visit?
A visit is probably something you’ve done before and not even realized. But once you become conscious of its components, it can make a tremendous difference in how you approach many aspects of life. *Waves of Focus* delve into how it can become a central basis for arranging their days, weeks, and beyond.
A Visit is simply this:
– Being with something, whatever work you’ve chosen to be with
– Preferably with distractions set aside
– For at least a single deep breath of time.
That’s it.
You don’t even have to do any of the work.
Another way of phrasing it more succinctly is:
“Show up, then decide.”
You get to keep your sense of agency, your sense of decision, at all times. You never have to fool yourself. You never have to force yourself.
It may not seem like much, to show up and do “nothing”, but every visit you make creates a *Wave of Focus*, each with a beginning, middle, and end – whether its a difficult trudge, choppy waters, or smooth sailing.
When we see it this way, too, we recognize the effort of approach and we can consider how can we make that easier, smoother?
At some point, simply being there, we reach that Edge of Action, where it is as easy to nudge the work forward as it is to walk away. It’s completely your decision.
If you can be there, if you can reach that single deep breath at the Edge of Action, you may even discover a little curiosity. That little, “what if I did this?” You might even feel that rollercoaster beginning to tip into full work session.
But you can also do nothing at all, ending at any time.
Each wave is infinitely more than no wave at all, where your conscious and unconscious mind has begun to process the actual work, rather than leave it in some vague state.
What’s neat, too, is that you don’t have to “feel like it” to be there. You tune into the work as you are there. And if you still don’t feel like it, that’s fine. So long as you were there for a single conscious deep breath of time, you’ve done the emotional work which is the core of the visit based system.
Certainly, there’s more to consider: like What do you do when the work’s not done? How do you avoid rabbit trails? How do you reliably wind down so you’re not trapped in a flow? How do you set things aside so they are ready for return? How do you return?
All of these are possible, all of them relate to these phases of a wave of focus, and can each be practiced.
Consider a free PDF “Your First Step to Breaking Free from Force-Based Work”
