“It’s all going well. Uh oh.”
Even when things are seemingly going well, when you are getting your work done and making it to the things you enjoy, many of us can feel frightened that it will all come crashing down.
Something will get missed. Many things will get missed. The “I don’t wanna” feelings will take over.
We wait with baited breath while, things seem to be moving forward. The external structures of work, school, or family holds us in some scaffolding. Fingers crossed,
“Maybe this time it’ll keep going fine?”
But then a vacation, an illness, a cancelation of this, that, or the other brings the fears to fruition.
The structures that had once so nicely been in place, have now given way. Even when we know it’s coming, like our upcoming holiday season, the disruption throws everything off.
On our return, we might try to pick *everything* up at once. For some of you, that might work. If so, great!
But for many, the rhythm is gone. The white board that once helped us hold it all together is now an overwhelming sight. Incomplete projects, now dormant piles, are strewn across the dining room table.
Despair can set in.
I knew it…
And particularly because these methods of staying on top of things are so unique to the individual, it can be difficult to get advice from others as to what to do next.
Beginning Small Again
What is often missed in this moments is recognizing how any system started in the first place – **small**.
Take a look through any system you’ve built and consider its origins. I would be willing to bet that it began as some small repeating item. It could have been as seemingly inconsequential as a chore or bit of hygiene. It could have been built around moments of leisure, entertainment, or meals. Maybe it was around waking or sleeping.
Somewhere a natural structure exists around which a small intention took root. Giving ourselves **a small pause** around an existing structure can help nurture that growth.
Of course it can be upsetting to lose a long standing structure. But we are also a new person every moment. The structures we build decay as we move on.
A New Opportunity
But beyond this, we have a new opportunity.
Sometimes, when writing a piece of music, I hit something that sounds wonderful. But in my attempts to recreate it, to study what I had just done and play it again, its essence is lost. Whatever I do, I cannot make it sound as good as it once did.
But when I return to rebuild from the basics, I often find that I create something even better. It may or may not have elements of the original, but whatever it is, it is more connected to what is emotionally alive in the Now.